Quote: The problem that you and I share is that we let it get this bad before being willing to take a stand.
That is very true!
Yes, there have been a few times where I have fleetingly thought killing myself would be a less painful option. I don't want to sound like this is a thought that comes up regularly...only in my darkest moments and I am pretty easily able to rationalize myself out of it. So I don't really look at it like choosing suicide vs. ending my marriage. In that case, the choice would be an easy one.
I'm still mulling over your ultimatum idea. I just need to find a threat that has some teeth. I just recently had the opportunity to have an EA with the HDH of an LDW friend of mine. It's a long story...but suffice to say I refused the opportunity. The main reason was I didn't want to destroy my friendship with his wife! The fear of destroying my own marriage was secondary to that. (How eye-opening.) Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is what if I came at it from that angle: the sheer desperation I feel? In a nutshell: "In the past 30 days I came closer than you could know to having an affair. I don't want to do this because I love you and I know an affair would ruin our marriage. But I am to the point where if you don't do X, Y, and Z I feel an affair is my only option."
Of course, it could be argued that threatening an affair is the same as threatening a divorce since the affair would lead to the same end.
I'm still "thinking out loud" here and not sure if I'd have the guts to give him ANY sort of ultimatum. I was only half joking about the e-mail.
