Seriously, in essence, isn't a statement like that basically an ultimatum or a threat? And if he doesn't come through for me, then don't I have to then follow through and leave him? You see, that's what I don't like about ultimatums: I might not actually be willing to follow through with that one. And, knowing how important our marriage is to me, he might realize that and call my bluff.
I'm not saying I'm unwilling to give him such a "put up or shut up" demand. I am totally willing to do it. What I'm not sure I'm willing to do is live with the consequences if he DOESN'T heed my warning.
Am I making any sense here??? It's kinda like telling your kid "If you don't stop fighting I'm going to pull this car over and make you walk to grandma's house!" but you wouldn't really do it and they KNOW you wouldn't. This is why, as parents, we are smarter to give demands we know we will follow through on, like "If you don't stop fighting we are turning around and going home and you are going to spend the rest of the day in your room." What is the marital threat equivalent of this? "If you don't start putting out I am not going to do your laundry and make your dinner anymore?"
