Quote: Demand that your H makes a reasonable attempt to meet your reasonable demands. Don't give up or give in on any issue that compromises your integrity or self-worth.
You see...this is the part of "differentiation" that is difficult for me (though I admit I have understood this concept more clearly at other times). How do I demand without being a b*tch? (Or does that even matter?) How do I not give in on any issue that compromises my integrity...without just leaving him? Because I REALLY honestly feel I have tried every approach to this situation and he shows very little long-term interest in improving it. He will "give in" in the short run to appease me and keep me around a bit longer, but then we fall into this pattern where I get desperate again and make ultimatums and he improves...then things go back to normal and blah blah blah.
Quote: Tell your H "I would like to have sex tonight. Can we make a date for 8 pm.". If he says "No" ask him if he has any suggestions for how you might find sexual satisfaction since he is unwilling to oblige.
That's an easy one. He'll just tell me to go into the bedroom and play with my vibrator. And he won't even really care if I do - he'll probably be relieved 'cuz it takes the pressure off of him. Besides it doesn't really solve the problem which is I want to be desired and wanted by my H who I love and want to be close to. I can play with my vibrator when he's not home. When he's home, I want HIM.
This is why I know an affair would not work for me. Because it's not just about the sex. It's about being wanted and desired by the man I love and who proclaims his undying love for me.
And here is one of those times (I mentioned before) where I play the conversation in my head and I already know the outcome:
Me: Hey, honey, I would really like to have some hot lovin' with you tonight after the kids go to bed. Can we make a date for 8 p.m.?
H: We'll see.
Me: No, I'm serious. I want this to be something we plan on for later.
H: I worked 10 hours today! Give me a break!
Me: Well I worked hard today, too, honey. But I want to be close to you.
H: The weekend is coming up. Come pester me then.
It is this neverending...NEVERENDING...cycle of excuses with him. He wears me down. I can go on and on from every angle, but in the end I just get tired of feeling like I am at the point where I am BEGGING MY OWN HUSBAND TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!
