I'm sure you wouldn't have left your alcoholic H if his drinking didn't have a negative effect on your marriage. I'm sure you wouldn't care about your H's use of porn if you didn't feel that it had a negative effect on your relationship. Figure out exactly what it is that you need that you're not getting in your relationship. Demand that your H makes a reasonable attempt to meet your reasonable demands. Don't give up or give in on any issue that compromises your integrity or self-worth. If your H needs to give up porn in order to meet your needs, let him be the one to come to that conclusion. It's not your job to "fix" him. Your job is to standup for yourself and your very valid needs.

Try this. Tell your H "I would like to have sex tonight. Can we make a date for 8 pm.". If he says "No" ask him if he has any suggestions for how you might find sexual satisfaction since he is unwilling to oblige. If he offers to babysit while you go to the bar, take him up on his offer. You get the gist. I'm only kind of kidding.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver