I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm trying to be superwife in order to get sex. My goal (and I used moving as an opportunity to set it) was to change myself into a better person overall. Instead of sitting around stewing all day and wondering what my "special purpose" in life is, I decided to take a plan of action and go for it. (I will admit I got part of this from the Dr. Laura "Proper Care and Feeding..." book. Which, BTW, LDW's should read, especially Chapter 6.)
So being more defined in my role to the family was one goal when we moved. The other goal was to do a 180 where sex was concerned: not take things so personally, initiate more often, not take things so personally, oh and not take things so personally. I've done well at goal #1, but not so well at #2.
What I get angry at him about (when he's not even home) is the situation I play out my head . It goes something like this: he gets home, I give him a back rub, we retire to the bedroom, I initiate, he says he's too tired, I go to sleep frustrated. It's a situation that's happened many many man times in our marriage, and by playing it out in my head I guess I'm trying to save myself the trouble of it happening again. The problem is, of course, I feel the anger and frustration even though he wasn't even here to "reject" me again.
It's hard to explain - especially with my twins pestering me at this moment!
