My advice to you is to not make any "deals" to get sex. IMO the only things you should do to be sexually attractive to your spouse are the same things you would do to be sexually attractive to a complete stranger. Only do things that make you feel stonger and more confident, not things which cause you to forfeit any part of your integrity. This is the essence of "differentiation".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
