Found out today H's new OW is now living where he lives w/ his friends. (She is a friend of theirs that he met) He keeps talking about getting his own place in November. Last week he said it was to be by himself & closer to work but now he says it will be in the area he is in now. I'm guessing as of right now she may move w/ him - now that they have been together a whopping 6 weeks. So now, the place he is living has 4 adults, 5 kids full time & one kid every other weekend. Sounds like a fun swinging singles life now doesn't it ?
I feel like I am getting better about things, detaching & such. Just trying to do my own thing but I do miss him. We talked a bit today at work - his boss died of a heart attack Monday so we were talking about that. Conversation was going fine but then I asked him if he had a girlfriend. I know - bad, bad, bad
He asked if I really wanted to know & I said I wanted to know the truth. I can't say I was upset because I pretty much knew, but I was surprised she is living there. It sounds like she is everything he said he never wanted in a GF - 4 kids from different dads, living off child support, etc. He always told me he couldn't believe how lucky he was to find me because he figured he would end up w/ some trashy girl w/ a bunch of kids that weren't his & want him to support her.
I know I shouldn't have brought it up. He said I have to let it go - he has moved on from me. I said I know that & I am trying to also. But I also said I still miss him & it hurts. He said I don't miss him, just miss having someone. But, I truly do miss him. Said I was sorry (sarcasticly) that I still had feelings for my own H. He finally said he still has feelings for me but it's over & he is moving on.
Not sure where to go from here. I've been working hard at acting happy when I see him but I still backslide some. I am friendly if I see him in the morning at work, but I don't go looking for him like I used to. I'm afraid that he may have fallen in to a situation w/ this OW because she was around when he needed her & now he won't back out of it. But, I also fear that maybe he really thinks he is in "love" w/ her. I know I can't control it but it is hard to know how to act when I'm not sure what his feelings are for her. I've known or known about other OW's/friendds that have been around him in the last year & I knew he would probably get tired of them. But, I don't know her so I guess there is fear of the unknown...
As I've said before, he tends to be "out of sight, out of mind" about things. He told me in the past that when he saw me everday it made him want to make things work. But, now I think his mind is somewhere else. I feel like maybe it is time to file, but I am apprehensive about that. I guess I am trying to move on w/out the D being official & see what happens but I know friends & family think it is time for me to do it. H obviously thinks we are apart whether we are D or not - says it shouldn't matter who he sees because we are not together.
One thing I am learning is that when I make the conversation go "south" by questioning him, etc, he will have been nice til then & then start pushing my buttons - about money, not paying bills, saying he is going to take things from the house, etc. Think I would learn when the same thing keeps happening over & over.
On a positive note - lost 4 more lbs this week. Long way to go but I seem to be in the right mindset for it now.
