Thanks Livnlearn. I follow your thread but don't know that I have ever posted. Never feel like I have much to offer to others situations.

This past week, I have really been trying to get a life & boost my self esteem. I started Weight Watchers this week & it is going well so far, of course it has only been about a week but I feel really good about sticking to it. I have alot of weight to lose but I know I will feel better about myself when it starts to come off. I think it is the biggest issue regarding my lack of self esteem sometimes. Not that losing weight will make everything perfect, but I know it will help my confidence.

I know that I need to do these things for myself. But, it certainly will not hurt if H notices. I just worry because he is a kind of "out of sight out of mind" person- I'm afraid he won't come running after me or wonder what I am up to.

I guess all I can do is detach & work on me. It has only been a week w/ no communication - I am not a very patient person - I know most of us here are not. In the back of my mind, I have a hard time believing that we will never be together again, but I also know it is a good possibility.

Thanks again for the input & I'll continue to follow your journey.

slt