Sounds like you are a little bit like in my position - you need to get your act together to seem attracive to your H, whether or not he has an OW, whcih of course means getting a life of your own. Take up with your own girlfriends and social circle, keep busy, go out in the evenings. Take up some activity that you enjoy, join a group or club or whatever, set your self some sort of goal that has nothing to do with your H or M. For example lose weight, get fit, learn a sport, take up a hobby, visit things/places you've always wanted to, redecorate the house, etc. This will bolster your self esteem and you'll find yourself on top of the situation more. Let you H do some wondering, running after you etc.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
