I am endlessly amazed every time I come here

[MJontheMend]

You're using your obvious superior intelligence assuming that everyone should spend the same way.

I don't care how anybody, including my H, spends their money as long as it isn't intermingled with mine. My H and I rarely fight about money because we have separate checking accounts and he pays all the fixed expenses like the mortgage and I pay all the flexible expenses like groceries. I now do my H the favor of picking him up Evian when I go shopping because he gives me the money to buy it.

I know I have psychological problems concerning money because my Mom was a manic-depressive spendaholic and my Dad was a fiscal conservative who worked for the IRS. Going to the mall is the equivalent of going on a drinking binge to me. This causes me needless suffering. For instance, I was too cheap to buy a double-stroller when my D was born, so I spent 2 years pushing my S in a stroller and carrying my D in a backpack.

I say, "Let me take you out for dinner and hire a housekeeper so you can save all that energy for sex!"

I have some problems with people spending money on me too. I can't stand to be financially dependent. I tolerated it when my kids were babies only by calculating how much a Nanny would cost and figuring that was what I was earning. When people give me expensive presents, I am only O.K with it if they understand that they will be getting something homemade or cheaply attained in exchange. Also, I don't appreciate expensive things, so I won't take care of them if I feel obliged to keep them. I told my H long ago to never buy me expensive jewelery because I would either never wear it or I would lose it. My MIL couldn't stand my door on 4 crates coffee table, so she bought me a "nice" new one. I refuse to use or make anyone else use coasters, so it's not so "nice" anymore. However, I do have an Achilles heel when it comes to my garden. I justify my spending on colorful flowering plants by telling myself I save money by planting tomatoes too. If my H built me a conservatory like the one SD built, I would happily fetch him beers for 20 years and perform sexual acts (if that's what he wanted, sigh) even more outre than the one I imagined for your W.