The Home Stretch

[MJontheMend]

I feel a little led on. He started with the email suggesting we ML that night, continued with the funny song as soon as he got home, then the kisses right before kids' bedtime, then we get in bed and poof! his desire is gone and he wants to talk about gross childbirth stuff and fall asleep! It is almost funny. Ok, it is funny, but I still need some action and at this point I would take the first offer that came along.

That sux. He really should have taken responsibility for the sich at some point. I think he should have at least said "I really do want to ML to you, but I am exhausted. Why don't we set the alarm for an early AM encounter.

Now I know that most men don't care what their wives look like but he obviously does, even though he'd NEVER say it.

I don't think this is true. I think most, if not all, men care what their wives look like. It's just that they aren't necessarily as reliant on reality or the whole picture to turn them on and they are less likely to be turned off by reality or any specific thing. Some of the HD men on the board have commented on ways in which their wives are not completely attractive, but they still find themselves wanting to have sex with them. The fact that I know this is how many men operate is the reason I was so resistant to believing that my weight was really the issue. Though on one hand I had low self-esteem due to my sich, on the other hand I am not very inclined towards a negative body image so I could see a lot in the mirror that might appeal even when I was heavier.

If you and I are stuck in the rut of believing that we always have to be super-hot in order to turn on our H's, this is not good. We have to believe that we only need to be attractive enough to feel confident about ourselves sexually. Were there men who would have been happy to f*ck me when I was heavier? Sure. Are there men who would be happy to f*ck you 9 mos. pregnant. Of course. I think you should tell your H that not wanting to f*ck you when you are pregnant is ridiculous and he needs to figure out how to get over this hang-up if he wants a happy wife for the next little while. Would you mow the lawn because your H was afraid of whirling blades? Would you wash the dishes because your H doesn't want to get dishpan hands? I think not and I believe that you shouldn't have to MB just because your H has an issue with abdomen girth.