Well I don't want to leave any of you hanging, I know you are on the edge of your seats wondering if Honey got her just desserts last night.
Nope.
H was being very flirty and funny all night long; I was really enjoying the attention! He was making up songs and singing them to the kids "Momma needs some lov-in'......" etc. Again, with the engaged kisses and that certain twinkle in his eyes. I was really feeling good about the night and about him.
Then we got in bed and I got as close to him as I physically can and gave him a long hug. My H loves hugs more than any other physical contact and he just melted into me. We talked a bit and he began to stroke my c. Suddenly he asked me a graphic question about childbirth...I was a little taken aback because it is hard for me to stay in the moment and enjoy his ministrations when HE is not in the moment, kwim. I was irritated because I just wanted to ML; not to fight his tendency for mind wandering, etc, I just wanted to ML.
Then he started falling asleep. He probably fell asleep 15 times in the next 5 minutes. I began stroking him, thinking that it would get him going and stave off the sleepiness. He was not hard and I complained (I know, I know) that it has been ages since I reached over during foreplay and he was already hard. I'd say the last 9 times out of 10 I have had to manually get him hard. This is NOT like my H. I'm sure it has to do with my body, etc, but still.......I just thought that maybe he'd be hard since he'd been flirting with me during the night. He didn't like that criticism and I don't blame him but I do wish that I turned him on enough to get a freakin hard on when he is stroking my cl!t, for goodness sakes.
He stayed awake a little better with me stroking him, maybe only falling asleep 3 or 4 times within the next few minutes, but eventually I got fed up and rolled over to go to sleep. I wasn't MAD, just so disappointed.
I then told him that I was going take care of myself, right then and there. Unfortunately (this is the part that is sort of funny) I am so fat and huge, and was laying at an awkward angle, that I couldn't even reach it myself properly. Now I KNOW all of you are thinking "Then how could H reach it?!?" but he was fine; I had just rolled over and was in a very weird pos'n and unable to do the job properly. Too lazy and defeated to roll over (do ya realize how much effort this takes me, LOL) I just went to sleep as well.
His last words to me were: Are you mad at me? I answered honestly and said No, just disappointed.
I feel a little led on. He started with the email suggesting we ML that night, continued with the funny song as soon as he got home, then the kisses right before kids' bedtime, then we get in bed and poof! his desire is gone and he wants to talk about gross childbirth stuff and fall asleep! It is almost funny. Ok, it is funny, but I still need some action and at this point I would take the first offer that came along.
NOT THAT THERE WILL BE MANY OF THOSE!
Oh and one more thing...my H is really concentrating on the "after the baby is here" period and is eagerly looking forward to me being myself again. Now, it will take me about 3 months minimum to start looking like myself again and really feeling like myself. Should I warn H that this is the time frame he can expect? With our first two kids, he was in his "don't admit you like sex and do it only in the middle of the night and every 6 weeks" mode so it wasn't an issue. He is really looking forward to this but it will be a while before I look the same again. Now I know that most men don't care what their wives look like but he obviously does, even though he'd NEVER say it. I feel like I need to issue some warning but then again I know that he'd pooh-pooh this statement and say that he doesn't care--and then he'd not have much to do with me til I lost the weight. I know this is my controlling nature coming out here...wanting to preemptively strike and put words in his mouth and thoughts in his head (You won't want me for 3 months..that is how long it will take to get the weight off) which is not fair, but I want him to understand that I won't go back to normal for quite some time.
Ok, enough emotional rambling and worrying this morn.
Overall I am in an excellent mood; my children are being complete angels and the weather is mild and breezy, it is payday and I can finally go grocery shopping and my house is clean.
