Part of the problem is that we are just such different people that it doesn't occur to me to think like he does. Not that I should be thinking like he does, but a certain level of understanding each other is necessary to maintain a long term relationship, imo.

So when I was stretched out on him and he was massaging my legs, it was approx 8:30. Then we got the kids into bed and headed to bed ourselves shortly after that. So about 15 minutes elapsed between the time when he was really enjoying the view (at one point I propped my legs up on the back of the sofa, with my backside nestled up against him). Now one would think that the.......vibe...we had going on would have lasted through that 15 minutes but it didn't. When I got in bed with him I was literally starting over with him. To him, these are unrelated events. "that was back at the sofa, this is in bed"
I was turning him on; I could see it and feel it. But it had vanished 15 min later.
I have spent so many hours of my life wailing and gnashing teeth over this simple fact of LIFE with him. There is nothing I can do to change it.
What I need to do--and what I have been working on for a few years now with no lasting success--is to do the leg stretch if it feels good to me and enjoy the fact that it turns him on slightly..but be fully aware that I will be starting over when we finally get to bed.

There is no "delicious anticipation" with this man. There is no "foreplay to last all day", etc. He is a highly compartmentalized individual and, while he may change one day, I have no control over it and so should be thinking about how to live my life with him NOW.

This is so much easier said than done. In fact, I would bed that the HD guys reading this think "What is the big deal here?" but it really does take a high level of confidence and resilience to flaunt yourself in that intimate of a way and KNOW that you will likely get no response. We, as women, have been culturally indoctrinated to believe that shakin your booty is irresistable.
It takes one tough chick to come to terms with the knowledge that you are NOT irresistable but you are still pretty damn good.

Hpot, who is getting ready to scare the neighbors in her maternity swimsuit.