Dave, Ok so I used some fusey language (get me) but what I was trying to say is that, despite me telling him repeatedly, he still refuses to acknowledge that this is what I want from him.
I have that "blue in the face" feeling on a weekly basis nowadays from telling him again and again that this is what I want from him. I don't really know what the problem is but I can tell you that it goes deeper than the pregnancy.
However, I know that you all are correct in saying that this aint the time to fry that particular fish.
I am just barely hanging on here...the last weeks of pregnancy suck in an extra special way. My body and my mind are going nutz from no sex and my body and mind are going nutz from the impending birth. Can anyone say DOUBLE FRICKIN WHAMMY!
Plus, it just really chaps my arse that he has, within his powers, the ability to ease my physical suffering (yes I'm intentionally being dramatic with that line:) and he chooses not to. Even in light of me asking (begging) him to do so. And I'm not talking solely about sex...this applies to backrubs, blahblahblah. If this was him, I really would take better care of him. He would agree with that, btw. He really is a good man who is totally devoted to me. His position is that he has nothing left to give me at the end of the day. What a crock!
Last night we finally ML. It was awkward for both of us but we made it through.
I also think I should just give up on not mb for the remainder of this preg. He is NOT going to meet my sexual needs and it is better than becoming a shrew every week or so and guilting him into ML to me.
On a completely different note, I feel myself drawing inward towards this baby and pregnancy. Away from my two older kids (the last being just a baby herself, sniffle) and my house and all the other normal things that usually take up most of my brain space. I have a very big job ahead of me, delivering this child, and I find myself doing a lot of mental prep work these days. Natural childbirth is a wonderful and empowering process but it sure is scary as hell, nonetheless!
Now, if I could just concentrate on these things in my life without having to attend to my body which is screaming at me due to H's neglect, then I would be in good shape.
