Has it really been more than 1 year since I posted? Well, here I am again. I couldn't get my password correct and have a different email address - so, I'm now dori.
Just having one of those downer evenings and found myself looking for familiar names to check up on. I really wish I had great news to share, but I don't. No news whatsoever - absolutely nothing has changed since my last post. How depressing is that?!
I am the LD in my relationship. Reading the first post on here was something I could of wrote a few months back. Matter of fact on my first thread I think I did.
You need to find where the resentment started before you can ever get passed it. For me it was feeling invisable to my H as a person. I was unhappy and my H was a happy camper as long as we were having sex. Which made the sex issue larger then life to the point it became a hate in me. And I started feeling lost to myself.
I don't know much about your sitch. Maybe you can link us to some of your old post.
Really all I can say is it can get better. But you have to not only want it to but make it get better. As the LD you have the most power to improve this part of your relationship. But you have to improve your mindset first. You have to decide you are going to do this for your H and yourself and your marriage. Nothing will change until you do.
Oh...it's you! Dori/Pam/Aquarian...yes, of course, the nice lady whose husband was ML to her sleeping/limp body. And that was back when I "felt up" my wife, thinking she was partially awake, but she wasn't. Yep, yep, yep.
So what happened? Are you together with your H still? And why would you be considering hypnosis? I'm a skeptic, you see, and I have great doubts that post-hypnotic suggestion can "cure" a low libido.
Does not seem that hard to follow to me. Some of it sounds like my own life.
Just what is it that you hope to accomplish through hypnosis? I am a little lost on that one. I don't think it can be used for sex like it is for losing weight or quitting smoking (which no one I know has ever done either with hypnosis). I would really check into that before I spent any money on it. But that is just me.
How are things with your H? Has he given up hope yet? Or is he still being a trooper? You did not offer to much new information of your sitch.
I hope you figure things out. One way or the other.
Talk about synchronicity... W came up to bed last night, saying that she had just watched an episode of "Dr. Phil" in which a woman found out she was pregnant, but did not remember having sex with her husband in the previous few months. It turned out that he had sex with her while she was asleep. My W said it reminded her of the times she had awakened to find me playing with her naughty bits (actually, once with her genitals, once with her breasts, but who's counting?)
H: But, as I explained back then, I thought you were awake. W: Yes, the guy on TV said that too, but clearly he knew she was asleep. H: Well, I didn't. W: The guy was very cavalier. All his wife wanted was for him to apologize, and for him to "get it." You know, to understand what a huge violation it is. H: I apologized back then, and I "get" the violation issue. Why are you bringing this up again? W: It just made me remember how I felt back then. I just wanted to tell you about it. H: I don't think you need to add to the list of things we already have to argue about.
You know, I really do "get it." And I "got it" back then, too. Sheesh.
Maybe I am naive (I can hear you all saying, naw!) but how in the holy hand-grenade can someone sleep through genital stimulation? I mean, I've heard of wet dreams and all, but as far as I know, that isn't caused by varying pressure, etc. that would occur during stimulation by another party.
OK, you can all quit snickering at me.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Hmm..I was thinking the same thing Chrome. I would wake up for sure. In fact, I think if I am in a loving R/M with someone that it would be kind of hot to be woken up that way. All sleepy with H just having to have me right then and there. But I'm a rare bird. I guess the point is that other R problems are causing Hairdog's W and others to react so negatively to a situation that I would not consider a violation. Just a females perspective on that. Now, the Dr. Phil situation is definitely not cool since it went as far as her being able to get pregnant without her consent! But if all bc issues are covered and we are in a good R, the wake up sex is not a bad thing. 2 cents from LFL.
