Okay. Here is my blackest fear and probably the reason why I am still semi-obsessively posting on this board. I am afraid that my H withheld sex from me because he was too civilized to hit me. I know that we are theoretically not supposed to examine the "why" of our LD spouse, but I can't avoid it in my situation. I can't do a "Harrison Bergeron" and make myself into a weaker person, though it is now apparent to me that I have tried to do this over the years. I can't make my H into a stronger person, though I have definitely tried to do this over the years. Most importantly, I can't stay in a relationship in which my spouse feels so powerless compared to me that he has to resort to withholding sex and making cruel remarks as a means of control. If I KNEW this was true, I would have to leave. Unfortunately, I fear that just the fact that I think it might be true means it probably is.
Am I overreacting? Is this just what Schnarch call ordinary marital sadism?
NOP, since you are the one who forced me into confronting this issue, I am hoping you will hand over a little of your superior functioning to me right about now.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
