Your H's exposure to negativity from his Mom probably makes it more important that he does not get it from you. Instead of becoming immuned to it, he likely grows tired of it.
Keep looking at the postives and remember the best time to discuss the past 9 months is after you are on more solid ground. Then you must decide if it is even necessary.
I think you can re-gain a special connection with your H. It will be a new conncection that will be different than before which means it could be better.
I think it is normal to wonder what may be going through your H's mind. I often view my words and actions as a mine field that could result in an explosion at any time. I stepped on one recently. I need to learn this too but don't obsess over it.
Make sure you keep working to make your changes permanent and one day we want have to worry about slipping into our old ways.
