Hi Dawn, thanks for stopping by. I'm doing ok, just been so busy at work and home I havent had time to post at all for several days, I guess that's good, means I have a life at least!
Things are going pretty well with H, I told him monday and tuesday that I still have trouble with feeling anxious....Monday he was kind of irritated and said sometimes I wear him down (ok, gotta stop that)....Tuesday he hugged me and said "you don't need to be". I don't get as much "mushiness" from him right at the moment, and I suppose that adds to my anxiety that he'll go back to OW.... but over all he is certainly much more loving and caring.
H initiated ML both Tuesday night and Wednesday night, so I guess that says something.
last night I took S to religious ed class, before we left, H commented "when you get back we can have a little time together" which basically tranlates into "watch a little tv", but that's ok. When I went to pick S up at class, OW's poor D came walking out to the waiting area where I was sitting, and the poor child stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth dropped open and she turned white, which makes me wonder what the heck her mother has told her about me. I have never seen or met the kid, I knew who she was last night because she looks just like her mother and from her response (of course she went to her mother also).
I'm trying really hard to resist asking H about if they still email/phone....but it sure bugs the heck out of me.
I'm trying to stay focused on morphing into a hot momma and maintaining the life I've gotten....got a new hairdo Tuesday, H actually asked me what the deal was with it....it's flipped up/out on the ends, I like it because it's different and easy. Just about got the money saved up for my new bike; got plans underway for kidnapping H, and here's the mind-blowing part: Saturday is my 50th birthday. I can't believe it. My brother is throwing whats supposed to be a surprise party for me, H told me because he suspected I was plotting his kidnapping for then ( I was!), all H knows is that "people you used to know are invited" and he is convinced it includes old boyfriends (?) and is kind of "wierd" about it.
I still can't believe I'm dealing with this soap opera stuff at "this age"! oh, well. at least I'm not pregnant!
I could sure use some tips on how to proceed from here, though. I pretty much believe OW is history, I don't think H wants to start up with her again, although I'm not sure all contact has ceased. I'm trying to keep the focus on making home a great and appealing place to be, and making our life together warm and happy and hopefully passionate. Maybe I'm doing ok, H commented last week that it was weird, but roles had completely reversed, things had completed switched around, that he had begun to prefer being at home to being at OW's and to prefer being with me to being with her. I just hope it lasts!
