Chronicles of Morphing into a Red Hot Momma

[Nevanna]

Against my better judgement, as we were hugging, I asked him if "the other thing is really over?" he said "yes, it is, why do you think it isn't?" and was just a tinge irritated. I told him I had no reason to believe it wasnt, but that I was just afraid to believe it actually was. His tone softened then, and he hugged me and said "well it is".

You might get a better response if you approach him differently. Have you tried "I'm feeling a little insecure, can I get a hug?" He might be misinterpreting you're asking him as an accusation.

I just feel so fragile right now, so frightened that my hopes will be dashed again, I don't know the answer to that.

Time.

I know that feeling. I hate it. It does get better...the best advice I can give you is to not pressure yourself, remember to do things to help relax, and to focus on building new, good memories together.

It turns out that OW used to call him some of the names I did...

Ick!

...and that's why he'd get mad when I called him that.

Hm. Sounds like he doesn't like to compare you to her--that he seems to think you're in a whole different class.

I told him I was thinking more along the lines of "Hunk/Hottie", he said those were untaken by OW...so maybe it's good that we can start to joke a little about stuff. I don't know. Don't know what to think anymore.

The joking is normal. H and I do the same thing... I think it's sort of like telling jokes at a funeral--breaks the tension. Some people deal with pain through humor.

I am thinking though that I need to start checking out the KLA forum. does it have info on "rebuilding"? I've been so focused on trying to get to this point, I've never even looked at it.

I felt more confused and more lost after we reconciled. I had been so focussed on the goal...I had no idea what to do once I got there. I have found the KLA CD's to be helpful.

I just...took it one day at a time. Focussed on using my H's LL. And kept posting on here.