Hi Dawn, I appreciate your input, and I think you rate way above a 2 in wisdom....I think you are right on target about everything you suggested, and I'm going to focus on implementing them.
You are so right about "couple time". I believe both of us have come to realize how very much we need that, and to believe that's part of how we went "astray". This past weekend was really disappointing in that we didn't get any...D and her new husband actually dropped by 2x, and we went to their place for a cook out. We may actually have to impose some limits, but we're kind of waiting to see if it doesnt settle down soon, she just got home after being gone all summer, and of course if they move 8 hours away that problem will go the other way. However, she was talking about having S come spend the weekend with them, and if she does, I'm thinking of "kidnapping" h and taking him to a hotel with a hot tub in the room....if he's not so wrapped up in grief he can't see straight.
I found it incredibly weird that he would be telling OW how I would have done things/thought she should have done them.....LOL, I think. I can't imagine why he would do that. If I was her, I would be very irritated by hearing constantly about how much better my lovers wife could do stuff....like "WTF are you doing here then?" but then, maybe she was, as he said "it used to always make her really PO'd"....I don't know why he would say it, unless it was a way to maintain some distance, or he was subconciously mulling over/comparing the two? Guess it doesnt matter, other than as a big score in the "tactless" column for him.
I'm thinking I'm going to have to keep on trying to maintain my own "life" and goals in order to keep my "self" in some state of stability to deal with this. Of course, that's a lesson I've learned at a dear price, so not one to let slide, either.
