On a scale of 1 to wise, I'm about a 2! But here goes....
I think that your H has realized all along that this was the right (morally)thing to do. Now you need to just give him time to realize that it was a good thing to do. My advice is to be less proactive and more reactive at this stage. (More monitoring and less experimenting?)
Quote: I'm not quite sure what to do, so I'm backed off physically from him, and he says "arent you going to hold me?" very wistfully, so of course I do hold him.
Seems to me that he is not having a problem letting you know when he needs something from you. On the other hand when you jump in head first.......
Would there be anything wrong with telling him ...."I know that you are having a hard time right now. I want to help you. Let me know what you need and I will be there for you otherwise I am going to give you some space."
Somewhere in your post I thought I read that the two of you discussed not spending quality time together. Aha! I found it...
Quote: He told me he had always hoped we would "work out", that he wants to do things as a family and just us together, that he thinks part of what we did wrong was not enough "couple time"
And then I read this....
Quote: D and SIL rented a movie and chips and dropped by yesterday
I would be thinking about making some plans for just the two of you.
Lastly, this jumped out at me....
Quote: it wasnt just a fling
Okay, if he wants to think that it was true love, just let him. In time he will see the truth. I think that the fact that he talked about you all the time to the OW is proof enough of who he was really in love with.
Hang on Deb, I think that you are in for some more drama from H as he goes through this grieving process.
