I feel so blessed to have so much empathy, guidance and good humour supporting me here - thanks so much, you guys

Betsey - whoa - what a powerful picture you paint with the 'what if it was his mum' - and yes, absolutely I will have more compassion. Your message has hit home. It is hard to acknowledge that he needs to grieve, but I can give him the space, and sure, the compassion. And believe it or not, there are more similarities between his mum and OW than you would think. His mother too would prefer NG and I were no longer together, and 22 years on she is still trying to drive us apart. NOT that she would approve of OW, she just wants her only son all to herself

I have just come back from dropping him off at the airport, he is off on a 3 day business trip. The guy was miserable, kept texting ILYs as he was boarding the flight. I can see him now primarily struggling to come to terms with what he has done. In his words, his actions impacted our lives, and looking back now there was no point to it. He does tend to wallow in things, so Betsey, you are right in that he is going to be SLOWER at this.

His preferred mode of getting support? Just that I am there for him, do not talk about this issue, and keep distracting him. My friends have become a lifeline for him, he seems to be so interested in what makes them tick. Its like he finds it easier to explore what is going on with us by referencing other folks. And, he really does not seem to have ANY friends of his own Some work colleagues, but no one other than me who he just hangs with. Another reason for OW, perhaps? Who knows...

Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time