I cannot speak from experience here, but I have a few thoughts.
There are small things he is not doing for you. Have you tried doing those things for him, teach by example? IE. open a door and hold it for him.. little things. It may seem like odd role reversal, but if you do these things with joy, he may pick up on their importance to you.
Another thing is try real hard to "catch" him doing some of these small things, and richly reward him.. if he happens to hold a door for you, put on your biggest smile and say "thank you" joyusly! If he arrives somewhere on time, thank him for being considerate and arriving on time. Do not do it sarcastically, make sure it is with joy.
These are lessons I learned from dealing with my hard-to-handle kids.. and in many ways our Ss are kids again. They need to remember what is important, and we are the ones working on it, so we must be the leaders, purely by example.
Hang in there, you are doing very well. Dont let the little things throw you, focus on your overall - it is going very well! Remember how far you have come.
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