Slowly, focusing on you is good. I second that motion!
On lies--in otherwise good, non-pathological people, I assume it occurs out of some kind of gut-eating fear. I mean, we've all lied at one point or other right? How do we feel at that moment, besides guilty of course? Fear of what is the question....and of course NG's lies were in a context that requires a high level of trust, so they were not run of the mill..... Ultimately the question for NG himself to figure out how to live with his fears, overcome them, change what causes them, whatever.
I was taught, and have come to appreciate, how important honesty is in any part of our lives. When I feel an urge to dissemble, omit, avoid, or outright lie....for reasons other than kindness--I'm not talking about unnecessary slams on other people.....I try to ask myself, What am I afraid of? I hope NG will be able to face these some day. But of course this is not your job. Focusing on you is very good.
