Boy your pen-name really fits what needs to continue for all of us here in BB-land! I just skimmed your post and kind of caught up....we are in a very similiar place with our Hs. I really liked what Meredith had to say on her last post
Quote: but have you tried asking for what you’d like? If you have, how? For instance, “H, I really miss our morning chats on IM. When you asked how I was, I felt very special. Could we start doing that again, once in a while?” or “I’m really struggling with the bad memories right now. Could we go away for a weekend and create some great memories to overshadow the negative ones in my mind? I would really appreciate that.” Something like that might make him feel that he can make you feel good, not just bad.
Just gently and postively asking for snippits of what you want....I asked H for more affection...like when we were cuddling more in bed while on vac....I said.."I really like this...and missed it." That's all, he didn't need to respond....but now when I initiate the cuddling...he's right there. And he has even started initiating it more....like he used to in the good ole days.
Quote: It does seem that he’s struggling through some guilt, and this seems to trigger his defense mechanisms – so I’d be careful about what you ask for and how. You don’t want it to seem like a guilt trip.
Quote: I know...FOR SURE...that this is where my H is at....this helped me so much. Thanks Meredith!!! And you don't even know me!
Take care SLOWLY....thanks for your support on my thread.
