Hi Betsey - You are so right in that I do need to get back to the drawing board. And to give us some slack - KAW very wisely pointed out that this takes time, and if the way we get over things is to keep busy for the next few months till we feel stronger, then so be it.
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What were you doing when you weren't demonstrating this "living in the past" thinking and feeling better about your R with NG?

I was worrying about the future Actually, I do think there is some truth in this - while the R was at risk, my priority was being happy together. Now that it seems we are over that uncertainty, somehow my needs are different, I want validation and am forgetting to be patient
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Can you be more specific about how your communications with him have changed? What was he doing when you felt it was easier to communicate? What were you doing when he felt it was safe to share with you?

Since the bomb in October, he would make it a point to ask me in the morning, usually via IM, how I was. It was the usual opening of our R talks, I did not take him up on it everyday, but when necessary it was there. Since the termination email, he has not once opened up to inquire about me And his general posture has been of not wanting to discuss much. It is a month now, so I guess I'm wondering where this is going.

Otherwise we are all hunky-dory. We spend more time together, chat about everything else under the sun, and manage to negotiate our way through most things.

What am I going to do differently? Lower my expectations - I've just got to take the slow thing more seriously Most of my discontent seems to stem from wanting things to move on more quickly - I guess.

Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time