Hi GBO and X - Thanks for stopping by. Things seem to be back to 'normal' so far this morning - no tension evident. I guess I've dropped the issue, we had an intense morning, and NG probably thinks all's well in his little world. Whatever
I've been struck by one realisation, and that this need to talk stems from my belief that in an R, both parties need to be open books. Well, this is now patently not possible. Clearly after 20 years of being totally open, NG decided to do his own underhand things. In many ways, I find the lies more damaging than the affair itself.
And now, NG is saying that he cannot or does not want to hear what I am going through as it is perhaps too painful. Not sure if he understands that I may need to unload on someone else, in which case there are parts of me he is shutting off. Maybe this is how it will be, should have been. That in a healthy R, there is always some mystery. Being open books may not be the most constructive.
This is hard for me. It represents a shift in something I hold dear - honesty in my relationships. I think part of my difficulty is stemming from the fact that I have to accept this new playing field, where both NG and I keep things from each other.
morning, and NG probably thinks all's well in his little world. Whatever 
