Hi Slowly. I'm sorry for the tense interaction....that "Do what you want" sounds familiar to me . I believe John Gottman calls it "stonewalling" and lists it as one of the four horsemen of the apocolypse in a marriage, one that men are prone to use and that drives women around the bend. Well, it does me.
On the side that you *can* change, I also think that NG's admission that he is hurting for having hurt you is important. Finding a way to validate and appreciate that admission, while also backing off, might be helpful. Of course, in the long run, you must find a way to meet some of your needs for comfort too----I'm stuck in a similar place, aren't I----at least *partly* with NG's help. I doubt he'll ever do enough, and you need to find other outlets. But slowly, surely, he must be able to reach out as well. Give him small doses of this, validate like crazy, and see what happens. [I'll be watching too, of course.]
. I believe John Gottman calls it "stonewalling" and lists it as one of the four horsemen of the apocolypse in a marriage, one that men are prone to use and that drives women around the bend. Well, it does me.
