Understanding My Travel Companion

[xalelle]

I know this was a few posts back but I was reading through and this hit me:

Funny thing about expectations ... we seem to be very particular in how we feel others should address them. So much so that in a R where both are working on strengthening the bond, in a lot of cases we miss their way of expressing their efforts to meet our expectations, because their way is not our envisioned method.

There's a grave danger to this type of tunnel vision ... for we lose appreciation in knowing they are meeting our expectations but just in a different way. They lose the encouragement of having their efforts noticed for what they are. They are trying the best way they know how and if neglected they begin to start feeling those efforts are just not good enough and before you know it ... they begin to dwindle. We begin to pick up on their shift in attitude towards the R and become more starved from the lack of nurturing ... a vicious cycle it becomes in a downward spiral. This I can tell you from experience.

Wow, the perspective on expectations this gave me! In my sitch I am expecting to have more and more contact, wanting to increase to more intimate contact, more "date" like contact. And I almost missed the importance of my W having lunch with me regularly! She says she enjoys it, and has told me she wants to get to know me again.. this is positive, I have just had my expectations too high/focused! I need to back it down a notch and let things grow on their own.

Thanks for the new POV slowly!