It is of course 230 in the morning here; we had a great evening, met some friends at the local pub, wonderful food, lots of emotional connection between NG and I before we went to sleep.

I asked him if he'd had second thoughts about the email he'd sent, and as it happens sometimes, the floodgates open and he shared much of what the past few weeks have been like for him, the increasing realisation that there was nothing left in the R with OW. I notice that he is never the one to initiate these discussions, but if I manage to pick the right time, he can talk So I shall continue to do what works.

I'm being plagued by hayfever, and am just going to walk these board a bit more till the medication kicks in. Found an incredible post by Mrs Hopeful over at TotallyShocked's thread
Quote:

Just a thought on your hope situation. Have you ever read the book "A Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankle. It is a beautiful book about his time in the Concentration Camps. Anyway the whole book is about hope in the midst of the terrible and I thought you might like this quote:

Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run - in the long-run, I say! - success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.

And one more because I love this guy and who better to take advice from than someone survived the worst:

Those who know how close the connection is between the state of mind of a man - his courage and hope, or lack of them - and the state of immunity of his body will understand that the sudden loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect.

Just something to think about. This why I hold hope for all of us. Because if people could survive this and lead happy lives then we have hope to have our highest desires come true. I in no way wish to downplay the horrors of the holocaust by imgaining that it is anything like being left. I would never ever diminish what these people endured. I have the highest reverence and respect for thise who survived and for those that did not.



A Liberal Allowance of Time