Hi Sage - Yes, I'm glad H understood the need for me to be part of his closure in order for us to heal properly together.
The 'why' is a subject I sense he is not yet ready to go near. I recall last week when I asked him if he regretted the A, and his response was that it was difficult to regret something he did not understand. And he added that he and I had 'the rest of our lives' to figure the whys. Thanks to Betsey's insightful pointer, most of this will need to happen when HE is ready, and not a minute sooner. I can only influence his readiness by getting on with my life
So, I'm continuing down this journey trying to keep in mind all the lessons learnt thus far, that patience is what I need all the time.
Slowly 
