This morning, after reading an "off line" IM message from my dear Ya Ya sister, Imalright, I thought I'd clear up something I'd said on here for myself, as well as others.
I'd said in my original post: It's even rare that I peak in because I find it somewhat painful to see some of my "old friends" still on here, still stuck in the muck and mire of the struggle to reconcile.
Imalright saw that statement as the fateful reason that she and I never seem to be online at the same time anymore to get to chat. If I understood Deb's IM correctly, she thinks that because we're in such different places in our relationships that it's karma keeping she and I from being able to share. So, I thought about that and tried to figure out if maybe she was right or not. And here's what I've come up with....
I think that there are two very strong reasons that keep me away from several of the posts on this board. The first is the frustration I feel for those still in, virtually, the same place they were this time last year. The second reason is, that when I read about their pain, I relive my own. So the second reason is very self serving. It's a bit cowardly, in that it allows me to "run from the past" by not dwelling on it and, staying away also allows me to keep pushing forward.
But, I have to ask myself, who am I helping by hiding? And of course the answer is, NO ONE.
So that's what THIS thread SHOULD be about. It should be about helping. Helping to encourage those still 'lost', helping those still in pain, and helping everyone to SEE that there IS life after betrayal, no matter whether the outcome is D or reconciliation, as long as WE survive mentally and spiritually intact in the end.
So I want this thread to be EXCLUSIVELY about US and what we're doing that's GOOD FOR US AND ABOUT US AS A PERSON
So I'll start: MY life is better because I have 'regained' my self-esteem and self-worth, totally void of ANY connection to my H.
