Quote: I just caught this. I think the word "might" indicates an unnumbered amount of risk (can imply 5% or 90%). It's really not "quantifiable." It's just indicating a possibility .
Yes I agree. There I go focusing on the negatives and didn't really grasp what Sin was REALLY saying. It is FINALLY beginning to sink in that I MUST work on me FIRST, and stop concentrating on my H and what he is doing. Thank you for the link, I will definately take a look at it.
Pamela
I do not take any offense AT ALL to what you have written. In fact, I think this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I have been totally feeling sorry for myself and not focusing on what needs to be done for ME. It's funny because when I awoke this morning, I said to myself "ENOUGH OF THIS S**T." I am GOING to do what I need to do for me. I will NOT continue TRYING to make it through another day. My son needs me VERY much, for goodness sakes he is only 8 yrs old. He is dealing with enough with his Dad being gone anyway.
Quote: If your marriage was not in trouble right now, what would your life look like? In other words, what would you be doing if you weren't obsessing over every little thing your H is doing/not doing? My suggestion? Go do those things!
If my M wasn't in trouble I would be having fun with my g/f's. I would do things with my son that he LOVES to do. I would be a very happy person and a pleasure to be around, and THAT is a goal of mine-to be ME again.
As I said in my above reply to Sinjin, I have started writing down my goals, and will continue with the "course of action," (I could use some pointers to get me started there) and it is going to be about me. Your post was a HUGE eye opener for me, and NO I wouldn't want to be around me neither. Also, I did re-read my thread and I do SOUND very weak, and I am not. The one thing my H fell in love with me for was the fact that I was independant and very head-strong. I have lost sight of myself through all of this and I want to just be me again. (sorry I repeated myself again)
One question. How do I handle it when he asks to come over but yet not sound upset because of this past weekend? I do not want this to happen anymore. I want to remain friendly and cool with him, but NO MORE overnight visits. I think a 180 would apply here by not allowing him to come over, but I don't know how I could word it. Is that a silly question? I just don't know my own H anymore, and want to start over and do things the right way.
Thank you for you support.
AMI
P.S. I laughed when you didn't realize what my screename said. I am ______________ <-- ny name here.
H-29
amIow(me)-30
son-8
married 8 yrs
"together" 10 yrs
