Is there someone that can help me here

[AMiTHEOW]

Sinjin,

Thank you for helping me to understand what you were saying. You said:

Your H is a "pathological liar". So if you can't really believe anything he says, why would you want to react to every little thing?

Exactly. Everything he does dictates how I feel or not feel. I thought long and hard last night, and re-read DR and I do NOT want him to control the situation any longer. I have begun to make a list of my goals, I am just struggling with trying to find a "course." I may sound ridiculous but I really need help figuring that out. I am so used to "more of the same" behavior and I want to rid myself of these behaviors, NOT just for my M-but for myself. I don't want to keep flip-flopping with doing the right thing then backsliding, it is wearing me down emotionally.

I also have to stop trying to read his mind. It literally drives me crazy. I woke up this morning with a totally remewed way of thinking. If I really want to change myself, and if I even want a possibility of having a M I HAVE to do what needs to be done.

Thank you again Sinjin. I needed to see some of these things in black white.