O.K., this is going to sound REALLY harsh, but I think it needs to be said. I am not trying to offend you- I am really trying to make you see things in a different way.

Simply put, if you are as needy to your spouse as you are on this BB, no wonder he stays away! I was getting so irritated in reading your first thread from newcomers. People would jump in and try to help, and you would post back saying, "Can anyone help me???"

What do you suppose those other people were trying to do? How do you think they felt when you ignored their advice and just asked for more?

This isn't about waiting to hear what YOU want to hear. Some of the things people say may hurt you. NO ONE (and this includes me) comes on here trying to hurt people. The best advice you can get is from the people that are not here to win fans, but instead the ones that will tell you the truth.

You say you know you should do this or do that, then you do the opposite. (Calling, writing letters, etc) Why is this?

Ami, I doubt that you are as weak as you are portraying yourself to be. This is not an easy process. It will not be solved with a quick answer, so quit waiting for it.

You know what works, you know what doesn't. Get back on track. And remember, everyone that takes the time to write to you has something to offer. Really think abot this before you dismiss them....

Let me ask you this:
If your marriage was not in trouble right now, what would your life look like? In other words, what would you be doing if you weren't obsessing over every little thing your H is doing/not doing?
My suggestion? Go do those things!

Ami, go read your own thread. Tell me, would YOU want to be around someone like you right now? Can you see why your H avoids you? (Yes, I know he was there for 5 days...however, I'm sure your going to have lots more of those AWOL days in your future before this can be solved.)

I'm sorry if this sounds mean. I know how much you are hurting, and I wish you didn't have to go through this. However, you are. So, find a way to get strong. You have to- not only for yourself but also for your son.

P.S. You are NOT Ami the OW. You are Ami. You need to see yourself in a positive way.