I am in a similar place as you are and I think that Ellie has given you excellent advice. I admire the lengths that you have gone to make your M work and with your H cheating on you and playing games with your urges, I think you deserve a whole lot better than that.
What I also think you need is not so much exit strategies but more an EXIT PLAN. I know what you mean by running out of timelines in your head, but try and give yourself the gift of one more timeline. That is to get out of the situation that you are in so that you are free to explore the richness that your life has to offer.
Give yourself a year or 2 to figure out your plan and to implement it. Set some goals around YOUR personal finances, approach your financial situation with an open mind and not neccessarity a 9 to 5 job and stash as much cash as you can without your H knowing about it. You own family may be able to help you with this.
Finally, get proper legal advice and start scribbling some numbers on the back of a paper napkin. Once your vision of where you want to be gets clearer, the rest will fall into place. Good Luck.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
