Well, I haven't been where you are, but it seems that a guy who cheats on you AND doesn't want to have sex with you AND who you don't have children with is a pretty bad deal (btw - forget the therapist with the theories of "buried memories" of childhood abuse, okay? If H insists it didn't happen, it probably didn't.) Maybe he has chronic depression, or low testosterone, or just is inhibited - no need to make up complicated psychological explanations. The bottom line is, he cheated on you repeatedly and still isn't really doing the work it would take to regain your trust.
If you really are worried about the financial issues, why not give yourself a year to work at increasing your income (taking night courses, changing careers, getting a promotion, whatever) and paying down your debts so you will be in a better position if you leave. DO NOT rely on any promises your H had made to you in moments of guilt - they seldom keep those promises when you get down to brass tacks. Look into your state law to see what a divorce settlement would likely look like.
