Anette, given my cynicism and current pessimism about relationships (and in my case women - although i am trying real hard to not generalize...) I'd have to say that it may be that our spouses KNOW about the give and take. It's just that they've been doin' all the taking, and we've been doing all the giving. Why mess with a winning combination? Not only that but some people take. They don't give. They don't want to give. In my darker moments, i would say that they don't care enough about their spouses to even think about giving. When I become saner, I realize that they probably don't even realize this. At least I hope they are not being selfish on purpose. Anyway, I think you have to get to the point where you don't do stuff FOR your spouse, hoping for reciprocity. Ain't gonna happen. Instead, do stuff because YOU want to. That gets hard when it comes to chores (cutting branches, doing laundry, et caetera) because these chores HAVE to get done by someone. If you are always are the one to do them, you end up resenting that. I know i do.
The differentiation song:
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Linkin Park
