Hey froggie. My roommate pays all the bills, which is nice. My roommate even keeps it pretty clean. She does her and DD3's laundry. She likes it when I cook, but doesn't expect me to do it all the time. She even cleans up after my cooking, for the most part. What makes her a bad roommate is that she blames me for a lot of the troubles in her life. E.g., we have a car in the shop now. It's an Audi, and we have had more problems with it than with any other car we've ever owned. She blames me for the money spent on the car because I couldn't fit in the Subaru Forester, but could fit in the Audi. Now, I know what you're thinking. I could have just as easily said to her, "the money spent on the car is directly attributable to your choice of husband/roommate, in that I was 6'-3" tall in 1998, and remain that height today." But the other problem with this roommate is that there is no way to make a point with her successfully. Even if you "win" you "lose."
So what do you do with these kind of roommates? I think you're on the right road in making yours independent with a bank account of her own. Kind of like me stopping doing her laundry and all the cooking. I think it just gives you less to be resentful about.
My W wants me to cut up some branches from a tree I trimmed the other day. It took a while for me to do the initial job of trimming, until I realized that they might do some damage to the house. Now that I've cut them down, they're kind hidden next to our house. No immediate danger. They're not going anywhere. They're not high on my priority list. Plus, I can't cut them up when I am watching DD3, which is what I do every afternoon and evening. I am not motivated to do this job. I am already a pretty decent husband. I don't ask for much. I wonder if she realizes how motivated I would be to please her, if she just put forth some effort to please me?
