Wondering if h has articulated why he feels he "needs" to keep smoking right now? And then maybe even look beyond that for a deeper reason?
I smoked for a long while (been 10 years since I quit! yahoo!) ... there were times when it actually felt like a friend (I'm sure that sounds absurd) and the thought of giving it up almost brought me to tears! I can't really explain it well but it was an emotional reaction to the thought of letting it go....
I know you know the reasons why you want him to quit (darned good ones!) and I'm sure he understands them well too but just wondering if considering why he might be afraid to try right now might help...maybe it IS the sense of loss? maybe he fears failing? etc.
oh...just had another thought straight from the KLA tapes...what if you did a 180 and said "I've come to realize that you are probably never going to quit smoking. I've also realized that my pressuring you to quit is unfair since there's so little likelihood that you will quit. Let's talk about how we will manage the fact that you will be smoker for life -- in regards to the rest of my pregnancy and after the baby gets here." So..YOU become the one "defending" or "espousing" not quitting..?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
