How bout that? Bets and I checking in around the same time!
Hope "our" bb mother-to-be is feelin' better.
Sage, can your former MT make a recommendation of someone in the area. Who better to trust than someone who knows what kind of touch you prefer and perhaps knows other MT's that are compatable?
I know you're wondering what that last post was about - just call me confused. I got mixed up on who I was responding to. However, I was not confused about your thread providing inspiration to me - that is certainly true.
Before he moved back in with me, I told him he'd need to quit smoking.
He initially agreed, and then right before moving in, asked me to reconsider since he was still working in his high stress retail job.
I did. I told him he could keep smoking as long as he was working there, because frankly, I remember working there and the stress I was under as a manager.
But that he had to promise to quit smoking once he got a new job in our town.
He promised.
Then he got the new job and quit smoking for a day, maybe 2 at the most.
He then approached me and told me he was under so much stress regarding this new job that could he just have one more month's reprieve before quitting smoking?
I agreed again, because I too remembered the incredible stress with starting a new job where you don't know anyone and you don't know the rules.
A month later, as promised, he tried to quit and showed minimal effort for a week. His plan was to slowly decrease the number of cigarettes.
After 2 weeks he was back up to a pack a day and making no apologies.
I asked him when he intended to keep his promises to me and he said he didn't know. That he was fully committed to quitting, just not ready to do it yet.
Then we found out I was pregnant.
I told him, "You HAVE to quit."
He said, "I will, as soon as we have a heart beat."
We got a heart beat at 7 weeks.
And I noticed that the smell of his smoke was bringing on gag reflexes and making me feel worse than I already was.
I told him and he acted surprised and doubtful.
But each time it happened, I asked if he had smoked...and each time he had.
We had a huge blow up 2 weeks ago.
He said he had to quit his own way, which was smoking only at work, not at home, and slowly decreasing his ciggarettes.
I told him, that hasn't worked in the past. The last time you did that, you were back up to your regular amount within in 2 weeks.
The only thing that has worked for you was when you went cold turkey and used the gum.
He yelled that I was sabotaging him.
I yelled that if he expected that I was going to let him do anything to harm the baby, he was wrong. And I said, and furthermore, if you were being rational, you'd be doing everything you could to protect the baby. (Ok, not a shining moment on my part. )
We didn't speak anymore that night.
That morning when I saw him, I told him, "Honey, I'm sorry about last night, I don't care how you quit as long as you quit."
He thanked me.
Now it's two weeks later.
2 days ago, he smoked at home, I got sicker, felt miserable and yelled at him demanding he take a shower. Crying and yelling, "Why would you do something that you know makes me feel even more physically sick than I already do??"
He apologized and expressed sympathy and understanding.
The next morning, he smoked after his morning shower.
I felt sick again and told him that I couldn't carpool in with him to work because I couldn't handle sitting next to that smell.
We went seperately and he didn't say a word.
That night, he came to bed, before he got in bed, I asked if he had showered. He said he would...and he did.
I asked him about his promise to not smoke at home and he agreed that he had and that he would follow through.
I said, "I really am not feeling well and I need your touch and hugs now more than ever. And I'm mad at you because you keep smoking and I can't get within 5 feet of you without feeling sick."
He apologized.
Last night, he came to bed. I woke up and asked if he had showered.
He said he hadn't and thought it wouldn't matter because I was asleep.
I told him, you think your smoke won't make me sick just because I'm asleep?
He said, "I'm too tired to take a shower, I'll go sleep in the guestroom."
"Fine", I said.
He asked me to come wake him up when the alarm went off.
So, I did.
Then I reset the alarm for my usual time and went back to sleep.
After my morning routine, ready to go to work, I went downstairs and saw that he was still sleeping.
So, I woke him up and asked him if he had decided to skip work today.
(I know...I need to reign in my sarcasm.)
He freaked out, asked if I woke him up earlier. I told him I had woken him up at 6:00 am.
And I walked out the door.
Now we are both at work, both on IM...and I'm so furious I don't want to talk with him.
I am so stuck right now.
I have explained to him calmly, I have pleaded, cried and begged.
Now I'm taking action, ie, not carpooling with him, he's taking action, not sleeping in my bed.
I guess I should give this 2 weeks to take affect...
But I am furious. I'm sorry to dump on y'all like this.
)