Well H and I had a long weekend together, off work from saturday till today. I was going to talk to him about several things, but didn't. Sat and Sun was not much to talk about, just usual stuff, cleaning, laundry, we did get some movies to watch. For the most part it was SOS. Mon and Tues we played tourists and had very full days, it was fun. Here is the confusion part.......... the things that I thought were cute or funny when we were first dating back 22 yrs ago are now pretty annoying to me. He likes to pick at me for different things, usually starts out as teasing (usually not something I think is funny) but he keeps on and on and on until I finally have to get mad to get him to stop and by that time I am pissed and don't want to be anywhere near him.
Most of you know, he has heart problems and partial impotency problems, have had sex problems between us for most of the time we have been married, but didn't have any type of physical contact between us for over 5 yrs. He decided he wanted to make things right between us and for the past 5 months has initiated sex on average once a month. Its mostly oral because he cannot obtain an erection enough to penetrate, and when that does happen, I have to remain completely relaxed or he can't penetrate. I have found that he is a selfish lover and I am still very unsatisfied. I feel like I should be wanting him to go see the dr again to see if this can be fixed in any way, but what I am finding is, I don't care I didn't initiate a conversation about it this past weekend because I have decided if he can't love me the way I want, then I don't want it. About once a month he initiates oral, which would be wonderful, but his mustache irritates me and he is not very good at it. I have tried to teach him, but he doesn't listen. Maybe I need counseling? I have gone to counseling once before, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think she was very good and after several sessions I did not go back. I keep myself busy with different things that interest me, but I am still lonely.
Annette -- who will take any suggestions or criticism
I didn't initiate a conversation about it this past weekend because I have decided if he can't love me the way I want, then I don't want it. About once a month he initiates oral, which would be wonderful, but his mustache irritates me and he is not very good at it. I have tried to teach him, but he doesn't listen. Maybe I need counseling? I have gone to counseling once before, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think she was very good and after several sessions I did not go back. I keep myself busy with different things that interest me, but I am still lonely. 
