Finally received my copy of DB and looking forward to reading it!

At this point, my plan is to leave, but I can't do that immediately. Therefore, I'm looking for a way to make the situation manageable until the "great escape" or the miracle (whichever comes first ) I've fought the long fight to no avail. Over the last couple of years, I have been slowly re-inventing my life. I've spent more quality time with our children (even on the PTA board), will complete my masters degree next year, committed myself to a career change, paid off loads of debt, and served my community. Many things are not as I would LIKE for them to be, but I'm muddling through it all.

I am just realizing or possibly, just acknowledging that my hubby has a problem with drinking and drugs. I feel like drugs are problem, period (he thinks otherwise) I don't know what to make of the drinking. I don't do much myself; I'm the type to go to a bar and order a coke with lemon. But thats just me. As I searched other posts and did some other research on alcoholism over the last day, I'm seeing some of the same patterns. Marathon hours at bars, straight to the bar after work, many nights at the bar in a week, basically all social activities involve alcohol, excessive use of breath mints and gum, lies and deceit to get to the bar, etc. Naive me never focused on the fact that he was always somewhere drinking, I was only focusing on his long absences and emotional distance. I felt neglected, rejected, etc. and wanted more of him. I am now wondering to what extent drinking/drugs has had on straining our marriage. What I do know is that this just too much for me to handle. I've been married but single for too long and it does not appear to be changing no matter how much I try.

Thanks to Michele and all who post here for encouragement and support. As many have said before, there is a certain relief in knowing that you are not the only one going through this painful experience and that their are many options to turn things around, if only for yourself.

[This message has been edited by Enlightened (edited 05-30-99).]