Amen to that Betsey!

And, Gd, thanks for the post. You have made many excellent points. I appreciate being able to discuss things this way. You know, with clarifications and a real effort to not hurt someone's feelings.

I suppose I could tell my story, but I haven't found a way that doesn't sound preachy and (as I was told that I am) blunt! From my side, this DBing was HARD!!! It was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to be open to change and I had to be patient and I had to suppress the urge to state my opinion and instead listen....all things that I struggled with daily. Thank goodness it is easier now! I think that knowing how hard this was for me, well, I'm not one to accept excuses from others as to why they can't put the hard work into their relationships. If I could do this...anyone can!!! I was the biggest crazymaker there was!
I know situations are different, and so the solutions are too. All I am saying is that the work I did was completely on my own, with no positive feedeback from my H for months. But, I knew in my heart what was right, and what kind of person I wanted to be. So, I reminded myself that I didn't need his words of affirmation. I just had a goal of going to bed each night liking ME and not having regrets over the way I acted or something I said.

Maybe it sounds easy, but I cannot stress enough that it wasn't.

So, you see, I think I will come across as thinking I am something or someone I'm not if I try to post this whole crazy story!

I guess I am blunt and direct. I don't give people room for excuses. Why? Because if someone had given me that room, I would have taken it! And I wouldn't be where I am today.
(Thanks...Meredith, and Betsey)

Hmm.. I must have caught Mer's uh, cold! Yeah, that's it...that's why I'm sniffling away here.

Back to the love fest! Thanks girls, for making my life more full. Mer, when you told me today that it was 7 months since you stopped posting, I almost fell over. Where does that time go? Soon it will be a year since I "met" you both here. Wow. What a difference a year makes...

Oh, and Gd, back to you for a sec....I'm not really retreating because of the controversy. I find that I shouldn't be on the BB for long spans of time. It's just not good for me.