I "just did it" again and initiated LM late last night. W was a little cold/non-reactive to my initiation at first, turning her head away when I kissed her cheek & earlobe and lips. This turning away happened not once or twice, but 3 times before she said, "ok, why don't you put on something else" - referring to the TV and putting in a porn video. The tone of her words was more "oh well, I give up, if we have to do this, at least give me something to look at" rather than "wow, let's f*ck!" As I put in a video, she got out the corded massager and started self-servicing. I helped her relax, and after about 10 minutes, she got herself off. Then, she said her usual "I want to feel you inside me" and pulled my shoulder in to her, telling me that it was OK for me to start "my turn" to get off.
She was more into using "dirty words and phrases" last night, so I guess that was good. I just didn't feel the sexual energy from her. I almost lost myself in thoughts, but I put those out of my head and finished. Thank goodness.
