Let her know that when she is ready to talk about it, you will tell her anything she wants to know. In the mean time, you go on with your life.
Your wife thinks that everything will be alright, if she sweeps the issue under the rug and ignores it. I assure you, that her feelings run a lot deeper than that whether she realizes it or not.
Find out what her emotional needs are, and do your best to meet them. Start working on a better version of you and don't stop until you are better.
Chris, your wife may have contributed to the state of your marriage but you are the one responsible for the affair, not her. I agree that two years is a long time, but it will be even longer if both of you don't agree to work on it. If she won't agree, then you can only work on yourself for a while.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
