Your wife has a ton of hurts right now. So what can you do?
Let her know that you will answer ANY question she asks regarding past issues.
When she does ask a question, answer it in as honest a way as possible. Don't hold back. Give her any details she wants. Stop when she says enough. You will have to bite back your pain and anger.
As run of the mill daily issues arise, how you act with in laws, how you are dealing with kids, etc, approach those in a non-threatening manner. If you are wrong, then apologize. If it is an issue that you don't have a preference, then do it her way. If you have a preference, then tell her what it is.
THIS WOMAN IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. She is your wife and she is with you because she wants to be.
Any time the issue of the affair comes up, you need to tell her how sorry you are in addition to answering her questions.
Your job right now is to return trust to your relationship. That trust is not only that you aren't straying, but trust that you will handle everyday life with her in an upfront, honest, and NON-THREATENING manner. It is going to take TIME. There are no quick fixes for the situation you are in. Period.
Hang in there! -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
