We haven't talked about the affair in a long time, and it's about time for me to "reopen that wound" so that it heals properly. I have to check with my W to see if it's still an issue or not. Isn't that sad?
Quote: I know you want to fix the sexual side of your relationship. You must understand, however, that sticking your hand in the face of an angry dog, hoping for acceptance, will likely get your hand bitten. You have to make friends first....
I want to fix the sexual side, sure... but it's not as high-priority as it used to be. I can go without sex for a long time as long as there's progress somewhere else that's more important. Comparing my W to an angry dog, however, is not appropriate. The angry dog would be visibly and audibly angry, and therefore I would know where I stand with him/her. With my W, I get silence. I get an occasional question, but nothing substantial. I have to GUESS how she's feeling and where she is with the whole forgiveness process. That makes it more difficult on me, and when I guess wrong about how she's feeling, I get myself into trouble.
Thus, we're back to speaking up, mentioning the OW and the sitch in the past 2 years since W found out about it all, and telling her that I'm still interested in being in the M. If she wants more time to think, I have to give it to her. I will not, however, be "hanging on" forever. I hope that in 1-5 years, she'll either forgive me or say "get out." If I go another 5 years without resolution, I'm out.
