TNC said: ---------------- W just doesn't want sex that much. I know that won't change unless I change myself and show her that I'm trustworthy and loyal over the course of time. ----------------
Bingo.
Have you and your wife talking about the affair? Is she comfortable with where your relationship stands right now? Are you being forthright answering any questions she asks of you, withholding nothing?
Your wife needs time to heal. Both of you need to discuss your needs and expectations of each other. It is completely normal to repeatedly discuss the same issues in a healthy relationship. The is even more true in one where infidelity has played a part.
Your wife will learn to trust you over time if and only if you are always honest with her - about everything. No deceptions or intentional omissions. Even the smallest lie will set your relationship back.
I know you want to fix the sexual side of your relationship. You must understand, however, that sticking your hand in the face of an angry dog, hoping for acceptance, will likely get your hand bitten. You have to make friends first....
Hang in there and you and your wife will recover and solve your SSM. In your case, this is probably going to take some time.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
