Quote: I used to, every day, cook and clean up afterwards, do everyone's laundry, give DD3 her bath, and got to relax at about 9pm.
Yikes, every day? I only cook on Monday (rigatoni & meatballs) and "pork chop night" (could be Tuesday, like this week, or Wednesday). I couldn't cook every night without feeling that resentment that you mentioned. I don't mind doing the laundry for everyone right now, and I've given up "voluntarily" doing my W's laundry... she has to ask me now. I get to "relax" by 9PM (if I'm lucky, it's more like 8:30PM).
Quote: I say this to you and ask whether you are feeling resentful of doing the tasks you are doing? Do you feel as if you are doing well over 50 percent of the work? For no "return"?
Oh yes, I do over 50% of the work around the house. I don't "keep score" too much anymore since it's counterproductive to keeping my cool (and we all "keep score" in our heads sometimes, right?). My "return" is knowing that the house is orderly and that we all have what we need. I'm not in this for me... I'm in it for US, the family.
Quote: I think it's fairly easy for Ws to turn on their "resentment detector."
My W is oblivious most of the time. She seems too busy thinking about her crochet projects (she makes baby sweaters and blankets for friends & family who are "expecting") or what she's going to wear to work the next day (and other things that I have no idea about, I'm sure).
I guess the resentment meter does go a bit high sometimes when I see my W working on her "projects" instead of paying attention to the kids or helping to fold laundry or whatever else I think she should be doing. I walk a fine line between mentioning it to her and not saying anything. Most of the time, these days, I say something to her so she knows of my displeasure.
I can tell you one thing... I'm not "getting any extra" LM, regardless of what I do. W just doesn't want sex that much. I know that won't change unless I change myself and show her that I'm trustworthy and loyal over the course of time. I'm at a loss for how I can make myself more appealing to her, though. Guess I'll keep trying things!
